Jomuelle Anicet

I didn’t realize that I might be depressed until my friends asked me about depression.

I told her that depression comes in many forms, what I didn’t realize was that I was going through my own bout of depression.

Being in my mid 20’s and recently graduating from college, I imaged my life to be very different from what it is today. I believe that I have spoken about it before,  that I am the type of person that cannot stay in one place for too long. I also have a love/hate relationship with my hometown. I feel like I have been here for there too long that it’s like I am reading a chapter in my book of life over and over again. It makes me feel trapped and that is one thing I hate the most. I felt that something was keeping me here and it got me so angry because I felt I didn’t have a say in it. Then one day I changed how I thought and made my can’t into a can.

My Can

Mind you, thinking that I can would open a lot of doors for me, I’ve come to realize that these doors may be available to you. You might be only able to see through them not walk through them just yet. You need to make sure you have the right key and even if you have the keys, you may be at a point in your life that you don’t want to go through that door anymore. To be able to see through these doors, it shows your possibilities. Those who tend to live in their heads such as myself and have the greatest imaginations, your patience can be tested. Also, there can be a point where you don’t get what you hoped for and wonder, am I asking for too much?

What is Enough?

You begin to ask yourself, how much is enough?  You may have to see that it might not be the right time and that where being impatience comes in once again. It’s like this never-ending cycle. Because now you ask yourself, when is the right time? 

Mind you, this is something constantly going through my mind.  I would like to grasp some understanding of what is going on in my life. It is very frustrating to the point that I have trouble sleeping and some occasions sleep the entire day because I no longer wish to think about it. That doesn’t mean it is just going to go away, I have learned recently in my life that not all things can be avoided, but it is ok to take a step back properly evaluate the situation and take care of it once and for all.

Going through depression is nothing new to me, I didn’t realize I may be depressed because there is a possibility that it was self-imposed with my limited beliefs. Maybe now it is just my impatience.